I am in my final days of my life here in Cleveland. I am not enjoying my last days in the sun, but rather never leaving my room as I consistently pack and procrastinate. I have been pretty good during this whole process averaging about two boxes a night of packing. The problem is its now the random straggler things that need to be sorted and I have become overwhelmed with the reality of what is happening. Last night I sat on the couch despondently watching The Cosby Show while my mind raced with terrible thoughts of my future. What if I don't get everything accomplished before I leave Cleveland, what if my job falls through, what if there is no one out there that will want me? It was not a great time. Luckily my little brother called full of enthusiasm for my new stage in life and snapped me out of it a bit, at least enough to pack a few more things before calling it quits. Then I was able to also talk to my sister and the funk ended and I had the most restful nights sleep I have had in several days. Family is an amazing blessing.
Walking to work today the thought of all my friends I am leaving behind hit me. I am saying my goodbyes for who knows how long and the reality is some of the people I leave behind I probably will never see again and that is frightening. I know we have all sorts of social networking that will let me peek in on their life's and I am realizing that isn't enough for me. I will miss stopping by and being able to chat for hours, knowing there is someone just down the street that I can escape to for a while, calling for impromptu outings, or just knowing I have a circle of people that love me just a few minutes away. These are things that the social media scene, as wonderful as it is, can never give me. Leaving my job is one of the worst things about this change for me. I have been beyond blessed to work in a caring and nurturing environment. In my short span in the professional world I have never come across this. It's heightened by the fact that the two ladies I work the closest with are my best friends. They have helped me weather so many storms and mentor me and let me become who I am meant to be. I can never repay them for all they have done. I am consistently finding that I am in debt to so many people and its the kind of debt you can never repay.
So Cleveland you are a bitter sweet time in my life but thank you for all of it. I have grown and become a better person and made friendships that are invaluable.