Monday, June 4, 2012

Memorial Day

I had a wonderful Memorial Day and was lucky to spend a good portion of it with Shmany (my little brother Daniel). We started the morning by going and visiting our elder sister, Angela's, grave site.

It took us a while to find the gravestone. For some reason it always takes me a while but we found it and our wonderful Aunt Edith had already put some flowers out. It was a really nice day with LOADS of people but we were very fortunate to be able to find parking right away and be able to leave without delays.

Clearing the headstone
Our next stop was brunch at Kneaders. I was hoping they would still have some of there delicious french toast but alas we were too late and they had already sold out so Daniel went for a sandwich and I got the sourdough pancakes. They were still yummy but I was hoping for french toast and nothing could have made up for its lack! Seriously if you live in Utah you MUST go have there french toast one morning.

After we had our fill we headed back to my place were we switched vehicles for Daniels motorcycle and I had my second ride on a motorcycle ever. The first time I was on a motorcycle was about 8 years ago so I was a little nervous. I was eased into it by driving around the neighborhood first and then we went up Little Cottonwood Canyon. It was so much fun and the vistas were gorgeous especially since I could get a unhindered view as we drove. We pulled off the road at one point to this view
And luck was with us because we not only found one $1,000,000 dollar bill but two! Yes we are both super rich! It was so random and funny that they were just there on the side of the road

After that Shman headed home and I had a SUPER lazy afternoon before heading to Provo with Joseph (we are in the same YSA ward and just recently started dating) to meet up with Daniel and some of his friends for a bonfire in Provo canyon.

(Sorry I forgot to take picture of the rest of the evening!)

Now Joseph is 29 and I am 27 and most of Daniels friends are the same age as us, however, Joe and I felt super old for a number of reasons but the biggest one is we came prepared. We went shopping before heading down and got things for S'mores as well as bringing layers, blankets, and chairs. We were the only ones that did. There was a group of guys all in shorts and T's that had to leave early because it was cold. No one else brought chairs to sit on and Shman did grab some stuff for s'mores before coming but we were the only two that did. It was so fly by the seat of your pants that I felt super old and grouchy because I was wanting more structure and planning ahead of time. But alas they are still college kids and even though we are the same age it seems I have outgrown some of the unplanned spontaneous adventures for large groups.  

Joe and I stayed for a little while and enjoyed some campfire goodness but the group was pretty awkward and we decided we would have a lot more fun just the two of us so we headed out early to watch a movie instead.

It was a great day off and was the right combination of activity and lazy, now to begin planning my next vacation day...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I have been working on using Affirmations in my daily life. I do feel a difference when I use them and my thought process does shift. Here are some of the ones I am trying to incorporate daily. I got these all from Carol Tuttle's Blog

17 Affirmations 
(Here are the ones I really like click the link about for the complete list)
  • “I am experiencing lots of energy and vitality.”
  • “I am seeing the good in all of the events of my life.”
  • “I am grateful to be alive.”
  • “I am attracting people who are safe and respectful.”
  • “I am experiencing money flowing easily into my life.”
  • “I am free of debt.”
  • “I am creating more and more of what I want effortlessly.”
  • “I am assisted by the powers and spirits of heaven.”
  • “I appreciate myself and others do too.”
  • “I am experiencing my life as simple and easy.”
  • “I share myself easily and I am understood.”
  • “I am comfortable moving forward with my life.”
  • “I am successful.”
  • “I am making a difference.”
  • “I am creating more experiences that generate feelings of joy!” 

Just in time for summer 23 Affirmations to help you be healthy!
(Here are the ones I really like click the link about for the complete list)
I am healthy and lean.

I love myself, I love my body, and fat just disappears.
I look nice; I am active; I am enough; and I count.

I am my ideal weight.
I feel great in my clothes.
I enjoy exercising several times a week.

I can let down my walls.
I am proud of my body; it did what I told it to do.
My body’s natural state is to be lean.

I am fulfilled.
Food is a resource I manage wisely.
My metabolism works great.
My body knows what to do with what I give it.
I am patient with my body as it learns new habits.

Others notice how great I look and feel.
My organs are relieved of overwork.
I am slim and trim.

My body responds to my thoughts.
I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually balanced and healthy.
I am whatever I think and feel I am.

Start affirming and creating what you want in your life!

Write to you soon,

Friday, April 27, 2012

Too in Love with Love

I have come to realize something this past month. Being single is very dangerous for me because I am literally too in love with love. I can't wait to fall in love, have that first body thrilling kiss. I can't wait to be a wife again and snuggle with my husband. 'I can't wait' is my key in all this. I am looking so far down the road and trying to 'make it happen' that I am not really listening to what my spirit is telling me. I want to feel all those things and have them and because of that I am in constant battle with myself. I am approaching dating very cautiously and being incredibly selective to the point where I don't have many options because I know what I want and what I wont put up with but the the other side of me just wants to be in love! Wants all this to happen and doesn't want to wait and be patient. I want to find the perfect fit now and move forward not learn the lessons I am probably meant to learn in this new phase of my life. For now I am just working on being obedient and reigning in my go getter enthusiasm toward love.

Write to you soon,


P.S. I made this private so I would feel comfortable being open and honest.

Monday, January 2, 2012

From Online to in Person: The Author

I was incredibly lucky that my first meeting with someone from the internet was with The Author. We had a really fast connection and were able to literally talk all day in one form or another. We never ran out of things to talk about and being able to read an authors work and talk to them about it was pretty awesome. I got so many insights and ideas from those conversations and a lot of empowerment that I can make my dream of being an author a reality and the steps to take to get myself there. But I digress…

So on August 25, 2011 I headed out to Colorado to meet The Author. That was another big bonus is that I have lots of family in Colorado, and I grew up there, so if things had gone really south I would have been able to retreat to safety. At first I was just really excited this was all so fun and then as I slowly got closer and closer I started to panic. We had discussed what we would do if there was no chemistry and all those contingency plans but it all of a sudden became really real as I was getting off the tram and heading up the escalator to meet The Author. At first I didn’t see him but when I did I was really surprised because he didn’t look like his pictures or really what he looked like on Skype. It’s hard to explain the difference from getting to ‘know’ someone via the internet before you meet them in person, but there is a big difference and alot of things you miss when you start off a relationship through technology. All this left me feeling very awkward. It had been like a minute into our time together and I was way off balance. He actually looked a lot like one of my college buddies which was also very strange because it was not what I expected at all. So I jabbered on very awkwardly and hardly made any eye contact as we were walking thru the airport to his car. To compound all this unease I had worked that day and it was after 10pm when I arrived in Colorado which was 12pm my time. So I had had a very full day! Once we got into the car I was able to relax a little bit and to feel more natural but I was still nervously chattering and wondering how this weekend was going to turn out after all. I had been praying about coming out and felt fine about everything but those nerves were really making me second guess all that. We didn't plan anything that night so The Author dropped me off at my cousin’s house for the night and I was able to sort through how I was feeling about everything and get some much needed rest which really helped.

The next day he picked me up pretty early in the morning to start our day. Although there was still some awkwardness it wasn’t nearly as bad and we both were able to be more natural. We spent a really low key day at his place just getting to know each other and adjusting, at least in my case, to being around each other in person. We had talked about Pride and Prejudice the long BBC version before I came out and we tried it out but The Author just wasn’t interested in the film, at all. He was a good sport for trying though.

This trip I was able to relax and enjoy Colorado and the companionship of The Author. We went on a drive through the mountains which was so heavenly after being away from them for so long!

Here are a few snaps I took on my phone during our drive in the mountains.

But the most eventful excursion is when we meet up with three of my brothers and my Mom for Pho, a Vietnamese meal. It was about a 45min drive for us to get that far north from where The Author lives and I was really nervous about how this meeting was going to go. I wasn't planning on him meeting any of my family but having my brother in town from Utah and being able to see all of them was too good to pass up. So The Author graciously braved meeting them. This was almost a comical meeting because The Author is around 5'10.5" and my brothers are 6'1" and above. I didn't really think about how the height thing would come into play for The Author but as we all stood semi awkwardly outside the restaurant The Author was very noticeably the shortest of the group. I never asked him how he felt about that but after we went into the restaurant we all were very relaxed and had an enjoyable time. My family than headed to the Broncos game and on our way back I realized I had forgotten to give them some passes they needed for the game so we had to do a major U-Turn and brave the craziness of pre game traffic to meet up with my family, again. The Author was SO NICE about all the inconvenience and trouble he had to go through for this simple lunch but I semi paid him back by going and meeting his closest friends and their wives for a movie night right after the meet ups with my family. Granted they aren't his family but I knew if things worked out between us these would be the people I was around the most and that was incredibly nerve racking. I was pretty comfortable around them but it took a while for me to feel comfortable sharing with them my little jokes or opinions but by the end of the night I was comfortable with them and really enjoyed their company. They are the kind of friends that you always want and need. Great to just hang out with but there to help you no matter what. I finally understood first hand why The Author loved these friends so much.

I was there for a Sunday and we did go to Church together to his Singles Ward. Since it was a bit later I changed and finished getting ready at The Authors place. We had fun joking around and bantering but at one point he walked behind me when I was doing my makeup and he completely disappeared. I was not only taller than him but wide enough that you couldn't see him at all behind me. It freaked me out and made me feel slightly sick to my stomach. I had always grown up being bigger than everyone else. And before coming out there I knew I would be a bit taller than him but I was not prepared to be bigger than him in every way and having that visual reminder of my size in relation to his wasn't good.

We finished getting ready and drove to the church. Now Single Wards typically are just such awkward places and this ward wasn't an exception and I wasn't a fan of being there, especially since it had been years since I had attended one. However everyone was very nice and all loved The Author so everyone was very curious about me and what was going on, etc. It was some kind of luck though that I would not only be introduced to the entire Bishopric and their wives but that the Stake President, who knows The Author well, would be there too and I also would be introduced to him. It was a bit over whelming because everyone was asking questions and I knew they were wondering how serious The Author and I were and I felt very awkward. I really liked The Author and we had had a great time but I was not ready to be thinking/planning for a potential future with him. I was trying to just get to know him. Luckily we left after sacrament and spent the rest of the day hanging out with his mom which I much preferred.

All in all the trip was alot of fun and it was a great experience for me. I knew The Author had some pretty strong feelings for me so when I got back I pondered and prayed about him and continuing a relationship with him. I felt that friendship was all I could have with him and he felt differently and couldn't just be my friend so not long after this trip we went our separate ways. I'm sad that I lost such a great friend but it was for the best and I will forever be grateful of the opportunity to meet and grow with The Author and I wish him true happiness because that is what he deserves.

Me and The Author